I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
