i think i have herpe
just one?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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