I wanna bring you to show and tell
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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