I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
