I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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