i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm really busy with my period
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