Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
