can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
