I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
