he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
