You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
