What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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