I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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