Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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