That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
