I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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