EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
