Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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