I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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