You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
