The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
