i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
