it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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