He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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