I can text with my tongue
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
