I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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