I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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