Banned from zoo.
Again?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
