I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
