An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
this just has baby written all over it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
