i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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