I am puke
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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