i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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