But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
