ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
