I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
