Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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