taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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