Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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