why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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