She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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