We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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