but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
