That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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