I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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