I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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