if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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