i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
