I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
