If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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